Psychology 110

My psychology class finally started this past Tuesday. I felt bad that I did not get a chance to read chapter one before the first class, and my teacher kind of rubbed it into the class. I know he was not trying to make us feel bad, so I did not take it personally.
After that day, I made it a point to read the whole thing. It was very interesting. One of the things that stuck out to me was the kind of attitude that pyschologist need to have. They need to be critical thinks that are earger and curious, but they also really need to scrutinize everything they see. At the same time, however, they also need to be open minded about what they are learning. This all makes sense, because psychology is the "science of behavior and mental processes".
The one thing I love about psychology is that you get to study yourself. Granted, there are may fields of psychology that do not focus on human behavior and mental processe, but the ones that do, I find to be very interesting. The one thing that gets me, is that we are made in the image of God, therefore, we are very complex in charater. I do not believe that any person can be put in a box. God alone knows who we truly are. Because of this, I see the importance of having this kind of mindset when studying psychology.

Give it Up

Today I was in my quiet time just thinking about life in general. Much has changed in my life time, and most of it is not for the better. It seems the older society gets, the more extreme it becomes. We live in a day and age where the people are pushing the limits in everything. It is like a fight to find ones identity. Art, music, fashion, media, all of it is trying to capture the personality of something; of life, people, emotion, issues. In this ball of artistic explosion, many beautiful things have been created, but to the world it still is not enough. It will never be enough. What is the point of life when the world does not believe it was started on purpose? There is not point when God is pushed out of it.

In all of this the church still stands, and my generation is growing up and getting ready to take the baton. From what I have seen in much of the youth today is very encouraging. It seems that as the world gets more extreme, so does the youth of the church. There seems to be this drive to get into the culture and turn it around for God. It is like a reclaiming of the arts. It is very exciting.

With all of this, however, I do wonder about my place. I was talking to God about it. In James chapter 2, it speaks of how faith without works is dead. Every time I read it I get convicted because I feel like I am not doing enough works! Today, I did my best to listen as I ready and meditated. The conviction was that in order to live the life of extremity for God, I needed to have more of him; no holding back, no giving in, just walk in obedience to him. It is the plain and simple truth that I have heard many times, but it never loses its meaning or power. Just trust and walk. God will give me the opportunity to show my faith through my works, and in this, get out into the extreme world and be extremely shiny.

Here I am

The school year has started, and alas! I am not taking an English class. I am surprised to be saying that I miss English, but I really do.

Steadfast

The end of the semester is in sight, and with it comes the final crunch to sum up this past years knowledge quest. I have not written in a long time, but much has been on my heart. The end of this semester is very hard for me right now. Once again, I find myself struggling to stay strong. Worry and doubt push through my defenses and feast on my mind. All of this makes me want to run and hide. This makes me ashamed because I am the type of person that will always stand and fight, but now my strength is crumbling; I have not the will to stand anymore. I am tired.
I was reading in James this evening. How often I seem to skim the beginning.
"Count it all joy my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have it's full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4
I have memorized and recited this verse many times, and in the past it has brought me much strength and joy, but tonight God should me something different. I used to focus on the part that talks about "meeting trials of various kinds". It reminded me to not be downhearted when they come, but today my heart stopped on the word "steadfastness".
What does it mean to be steadfast? To not be moved, to not be affected, to abide by the truth? What do I want to be? Life is not going to get any easier; it will only get harder, but am I willing to open myself up truth of God's heart? I have the choice to take the trials and let Him strengthen me to stand. Very little of what he is doing makes sense, but he is good, and he knows what I can take.
Opening myself up to Him is a hard thing. I am letting my desire go and allowing him to touch the softest parts of my heart. Without trials I cannot learn how to be steadfast; I will have nothing to learn to stand against. I must trust that God knows what he is doing. He is not in my life to squash me every time I do something wrong. He is hear to give life; in this life and the next. Overcoming trials is apart of it, because without it we will never learn to rest in him, and in the end standfast.

I Think

I think last nights musings were do to the fact that I really need a break, but with the way this semester has gone I do not feel that even spring break will provide much comfort. I also was feeling overwhelmed with my assignments from ACA class. I must say that right now I do not like my teacher. Deep down inside this is not true. I just tiered of the pressure of doing her homework. I know that she does not assign it to be mean; she is just trying to get us to learn, but sometimes I just wish she would understand!
I do not want to be angry at her or anyone for that matter. Like the poem said: " I am just tired". I need to work on homework.

I Am Tired

I am tired.
My body told my head today that it was so.
I am tired of the push.
I am tired of the climb.
I am tired of this endless laps in time.

Get up, get dressed, get food, get going!
Don't stop to breath, don't stop to think,
Don't stop to care, don't stop to share,
Must keep running, must keep drumming
The endless dirge of life.

And if you stop to feel the figure points its judgment back on you.
You said this is what you wanted.
Why do you give less?
I AM TIRED OF BEING HUNTED!
I NO LONGER WANT TO GIVE THE GUESS!

In my push to stay alive I see how others seem to thrive.
How they do I cannot tell.
I am still stuck inside a cell.
Its walls are cold; my spirit is damp.
I wish for the warmth of a flickering lamp.

I am tired!
The wave crashed in again.
I am tired of being the only one.
Does anybody understand?!
No!

The butter is to soft my dear.
There is not enough for all that bread.
Even if you scrape it thin.
Can't you see I am turning GREEN!
And now I no longer make sense

Because I am TIRED!

Hello Again

I am back, and this time the sun is shinning! In class today, we continued to watch Hamlet. I also handed in my draft. It was a mess, but at least I have something written down that I can work with. At this point I am starting to get sick of Hamlet. It seems to be all I can think about at times. My thoughts, however, are starting to make sense. I will see what I can do on my paper this afternoon.
After class today, Holly and I stayed a minute to talk with Ms Frailly. She helped me understand more to the layout of the assignment. Apparently my thesis statement is my opinion on the play, and not what Shakespeare is trying to say and my opinion on it. This makes matters a whole lot easier. I really did not know how I was going to fit it all in there. I also noticed that when I was trying to write in that focus I went off in a whole lot of rabbit trails.
With this in mind, here is my focus; I believe Hamlet did over set the bounds of his destiny as well as others. Whether or not Shakespeare meant to show it, the consequences of his actions is seen in the end of the play by the deaths of those closest to him. It is all very sad.